Buried Treasure Day!
Today, after you make certain choices that I'm not really gonna go into here, you'll find a treasure chest containing several billion dollars in ancient jewels. Your husband and son will immediately knock you unconscious and throw you in the trunk of your Honda. When you come to in the trunk of the moving car, you'll retrace the steps you took through out the day. And again, I really can't dwell on all that here in any great detail. But once those steps have been retraced you'll see the big picture, which is that, as far back as the day you met, your husband knew you were be the only person on Earth capable of locating that treasure chest. And he impregnated you with your son because he needed an accomplice who would be tied to him with bonds as thick as blood. Your entire marriage, even your motherhood, was a con. And now you're in the trunk of your Honda next to a chest full of some dead king's gold. You might wanna dig through that chest and see if the king was into collecting any particularly sharp be-jeweled daggers before the Honda pulls to a stop.
Happy Buried Treasure Day!
