Monday, August 23, 2004

Stop His Lotto Playing, He'll Leave You Behind Day!

The plans are laid for a beautiful future together. You're continuing your apprenticeship as assistant director of the Community Y. He's in his second semester at Community College in pursuit of a business degree.

"We're gonna make it right," you say.

"Then we're gonna make a family," he says.

And yet, every single day he buys himself a lotto ticket. Why even go to school if he's putting his hat in the ring to ride a gravy train outta town? Why all the planning? The promises?

"Why do you waste your money on those stupid lotto tickets?" you say.

"It's fun. I like to dream of what kind of life we'd lead if I won a hundred million dollars."

If he won a hundred million dollars, he'd go down to the office to claim the money. He'd call you up to tell you everything's right as rain and they're honoring his ticket. But he'd have to stay down there to meet with some financial advisors recommended to him by the commission.

The next time he'd call would be to tell you to watch the TV, because they're gonna announce him as the winner. After, when you tell him over the phone how handsome he looked up on that stage, he'd say he's not coming home because he's been told he'll be swamped with pleas for handouts, but he'll call soon to say where he is.

A few days later, he'll call once more, saying he's being moved for the third time. People keep tracking him down and showing up at his doorstep with their empty hats shining up at him. "Everyone wants a piece of me, here. They're trying to suck my blood. I can't trust nobody no more."

You'll say, "I love you."

He'll say, "Ah ha!" and hang up the phone.

You'll never hear from him again. I don't know what your mother will say to make you feel better about it all. I don't know if she's aware of what a team of financial advisors can do to a young couple in love.

Happy Stop His Lotto Playing, He'll Leave You Behind Day!