Unreasonably Impatient, Angry, And Profane For A Sunday Morning Day!
When you wake up say, "Fuck I'm awake and fuck!" Go to your favorite muffin store. It's called "Muffin On Out!" Ask for "The Fucking Banana and Cranberry for God's sake. Jesus! Does everything have to be so goddamn hard? Does everything...have to be...so goddamn...motherfucking...hard???" Pay.
Return home, place your muffin on a small plate and place the plate on your pillow, next to your sleeping bride. Gently rouse your wife awake. As her eyes flutter open on the muffin by her head, say, "Oh my God! Eat the Muffin! Fuck! Oh my God! Eat the Muffin!" Stomp away to the living room to sulk, swear, and wish that everything was moving just a little faster than it is.
Happy Unreasonably Impatient, Angry, And Profane For A Sunday Morning Day!