Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Have Fun You Two Day!

It's the way it's done. Sharon leaves in the morning, calls you at work when her plane touches down to let you know she's okay. You hang up with Sharon and call Joanne and tell her to meet you at your place at 7 and the two of you hump until sunrise. Repeat the next day only after you've gotten a call from Sharon telling you she misses you and she's still in Phoenix (or wherever). You never call first. You never want to give her the chance to suspect that you're keeping tabs on her. And you've been very diligent. Never once have you brought Joanne over without first getting a call from Sharon. Sickeningly enough, you're proud of this fact.

Tonight everything seemed to be going swimmingly. Sharon called from a hotel phone so that the foreign area code showed up on your office caller ID. Joanne didn't flinch when you gave her the go ahead to head over to your place (she can often make you prove that you care for her before she agrees to a tryst). Joanne was waiting at the coffee shop beneath your building when you approached. You threw a five on her table and yanked her giggling out of her booth and up the stairs.

Once inside you flung each other around the living room kissing and tugging off your boots. You found a note from Sharon reminding you about what's in the fridge. You only gave it a quick glance before Joanne grabbed your hands and pulled them to her naked waist. The note dropped back onto the counter and you and Joanne spent about ninety minutes in the bed Sharon purchased for the two of you.

When you'd finished fucking you ordered up Chinese food and a six pack of beer and watched HBO naked on the couch. After a little while you took turns giving each other head on the couch, then you hit the kitchen for some water before running out to walk the dog. When you got back, Joanne was hungry again and had started hunting around in the kitchen.

"There's some stuff you can't eat in there," you shouted while taking off your coat and returning to your spot on the couch. "Sharon will know I had someone over if you eat something I'd never eat."

Joanne came back to the couch and fed you from a plate of orange slices. She sucked one down herself, then put another slice up to your lips.

"You're quick with a citrus knife," you said before sucking the slice to your teeth.

"They were already cut up," she said.

You had the orange rind in your mouth like in the Godfather and your brow furrowed, which made Joanne laugh. You let the rind drop into your hand.

"They were?" you asked.

Joanne looked apprehensive. You both turned and stared at the kitchen. Her eyes on the fridge, Joanne said "There's some champagne in there too."

"And two glasses?" you asked. Joanne didn't answer. She turned her eyes to the plate if orange slices and wondered if they're poisoned.

You got up and went to the counter where you dropped the note that Sharon left for you.


Drinks and snacks are in the fridge. I won't be back until Friday.

Have fun you two.


You went to the Fridge to avoid looking at Joanne. She was too nude on the couch. Too polluting, she was all over everything. You went to the fridge and opened the door to stare at the champagne and the flutes and the blank space on the shelf where the plate of orange slices sat. The first time you ever found champagne and orange slices in the fridge, Sharon snuck up from behind you and cloaked your eyes in her hands and pulled you to her naked body. The last time you found champagne and orange slices in the fridge was a year and a half ago.

It took a lot of silence, but eventually Joanne was good enough to get dressed and leave. You now have two days and two hours to wonder if Sharon cared whether you'd find the note and champagne and the orange slices before or after you fucked Joanne. If you had found it before, the "Have fun you two" might have referred to you and the dog. If you had found it before, it would have felt like there was still a chance that she might not know, that the orange slices and the champagne are a promise for when she comes back. It feels like finding it before might have erased all of the times you'd already cheated. If you had found it before…if only you had found it before.

Happy Have Fun You Two Day!