Saturday, August 28, 2004

Chef Dilly Day!

Dilly got high, went to the store, and came back with pasta and sausage. He's cooking it up for the whole house to eat.

"Good day and welcome to Chateau Dilly, yo," he says to everyone who comes in to see who's using the kitchen.

Dilly's in the middle of a big long monologue that he's laying on everyone who comes in and sits down for a bit. When someone leaves and someone else in the house comes in, Dilly just continues on with his monologue as if whoever's in there has been there the whole time.

"The car never really ran right after that but me and Larkin are still real cool. I've done a lot for him since then," he says when you walk into the kitchen.

"Is there meat in that sauce?" you ask.

Dilly laughs. "Yes Mr. Vegetarian, there will be meat in this sauce. Vegetarians must order from the Tibetan House if they wish to eat tonight." He stirs his pasta a little then continues with his story. "Jenny got out of the hospital about six days later, but it was like two months before she spoke to me. We shared a bed the whole time, but we didn't fuck. When I finally got work she…"

You leave the kitchen and wander out onto the front porch. You're not a vegetarian. Your girlfriend is. But she gets angry any time she finds what she thinks is meat on her plate. And if you ordered a meat dish, she'd get angry at you. So you stopped eating meat around her. And soon you stopped eating meat altogether. Now that you've decided you're going to break up with her when the time is right, you really want to eat Dilly's pasta. But you're not going to. It'll cause a fight.

Happy Chef Dilly Day!