Tuesday, November 19, 2002

Things You Did Not Win While You Were Sleeping Day!

You did not win a brand new bicycle, and neither did you win a Vespa built from items found around the home, such as a portable electric radiator and whirlpool jets. You won no all expenses paid vacation to Tahiti because you have no one to take with you and if you were to ask to receive the cash equivalent of the prize, everyone would have known why once they saw the shallow purple valleys just underneath your eyes. And the Prizegiver did not want to be engaged in such an unhappy interaction.

About the Prizegiver. You have made inquiries as to his identity. Please desist, for your own safety.

The respect of a friend you hold too dear was not a prize that you were awarded while you slept last night and you did not win the love of the little fool that would end up breaking you into shards if he or she ever got a grip on you. Your friend believes that you don't have "conversations" so much as "presentations," and the little fool was celebrating a birthday at a bar and not enjoying his/herself all that very much but he/she got a little drunk and without it being suggested suddenly found him/herself being helped to slow dance in somebody's arms and from those arms there seemed to float in the air between them a kind of enchanting snowy chill and they woke up together this morning and couldn't wait to start making phone calls to mutual friends.

You did not win a free small fries or soda and neither did you win a cigarette boat. And sadly, neither one million dollars nor two hundred and fifty dollars was awarded to you. The big pink bear too. You didn't win the big pink bear because you didn't knock down the milk bottles. You were sleeping.

Also, you were unable to win a smile from the small child held in the arms of the woman in line in front of you at the grocery store. And you did not win the suspicion of that woman even.

Perhaps tonight you might have better luck. Happy Things You Did Not Win While You Were Sleeping Day! Try Again.