Thursday, November 14, 2002

Go To A Firing Range Day!

Today's the day to go over to the firing range and as the paper target with the silhouette of the guy comes closer and closer to you, shoot rubber bands at it. If when you try to buy another target they tell you you can't shoot rubber bands at it, tell the counter person that's cool and this time, when the paper man comes rolling towards you, yell at it. Then when it gets close enough, dive forward and rip it to shreds with your bare hands like a real man. If when you try to buy your next paper target you're told that you can't fight your target hand-to-hand and that you'll have to use a gun, tell the salesperson everything's cool and you'll use a gun. Go get your rifle out of your trunk and bring it into the range, showing it off to the counterperson as you pass, and as the paper target rolls toward you, take the rifle by the barrel and lift it up over your head like an executioner with his axe. Then when the target gets within reach, bring the rifle butt down and smash the shit out of it, swinging over and over until the target's just a wad of ripped up construction paper all over your rifle butt. Even though everyone reading this assumes it'll end with the counterperson telling you to leave the firing range and you shooting a round into his chest, do it anyway.

Happy Go To A Firing Range Day!