Sunday, November 03, 2002

A Beercan In The Back Pocket Of Your Jeans Will Spill Some, Yeah, But If You Put It In There With The Lip Facing Away From Your Ass, It'll Just Dribble Down The Outside Of Your Pocket Which Won't Kill Nobody Day!

Unless you start to wrestle, which you're probably gonna do since there's not too many other reasons for putting a beercan in your back pocket beyond getting into a shoving match with somebody. And if you start shoving somebody, let's face it, someone's gonna get thrown to the ground and you're gonna start to wrestle because sometimes just about everyone's a little attractive and it just feels good to hold somebody and be held by somebody, even when that somebody is screaming in your ear, "SAY MERCY FAGGOT!!!" So if you wrestle but you keep your ass in the air, the beercan will probably foam up and out onto the skin of your back, which will be bare because your shirt's already been tugged way up to your shoulderblades. And after the initial foamover, it'll just sort dribble out of the can steadily and it'll pour down into your underwear and your asscrack and it'll feel so cold. You'll honestly be better off if you get flipped onto your ass and the can gets crushed and cracked and practically emptied out in one splat because at least if you're on your ass, all the beer will pour out onto the ground instead of down into your pants.

But if you just wanna walk away from the grill with two hot dogs and a coke for your little sister and you need to put your beercan in the back pocket of your jeans so you can hold everything, go ahead. It won't kill nobody.

I want you to know that until I fell in love with you, A Beercan In The Back Pocket Of Your Jeans Will Spill Some, Yeah, But If You Put It In There With The Lip Facing Away From Your Ass, It'll Just Dribble Down The Outside Of Your Pocket Which Won't Kill Nobody Day was just another excuse for me to get real loaded and remind my Dad about the time he hit my mom real bad (she was knocked out for a second).