Your Marijuana Addicted Ex Woke Up This Afternoon And Wrote A Shitty Song About You While Lying Next To A Sleeping Naked Mutual Acquaintance Of Yours Day!
It's Saturday, so the phone company won't be able to change your phone number until at least late Monday morning. So it would be best if you rip the phone out of the wall. The dim little fool plans to sing the song into your answering machine later, and your roommate might have finally paid the bill to get your apartment's voicemail hooked back up so don't just turn off the answering machine if you want to avoid having that message enter your life as a reminder of the kind of person you used to allow to sit naked in the wicker basket chair across the room and strum a bass while you filled out continuing education registration forms on the bed.
There's a line in the song where rain is rhymed with pain. I'm so glad you got outta town last year. Everyone's ending up exactly where you would've guessed. I think the song is called, "A Song For You." Fucking christ.
That mutual acquaintance by the way is the one who used to sell shitty ecstasy while waiting tables at the bar you tended. Guess what. The ecstasy dealing gig fell through due to a rather severe assault at the hand of a dissatisifed customer. But the waiting tables gig is really coming along.
Anyway, if you get the message, I don't know. Jesus.
Happy Your Marijuana Addicted Ex Woke Up This Afternoon And Wrote A Shitty Song About You While Lying Next To A Sleeping Naked Mutual Acquaintance Of Yours Day!