Thursday, November 07, 2002

About That Bridge You Were Worried About, When You Come To It, RUN LIKE HELL IT'S GONNA BLOW!!! Day!

Yeah, the fucker's wired with enough C-4 to blow a hole in the riverbed so big it'll bring the water level down three full inches (it's a really wide river). That's the bridge we were talking about you crossing when you finally came to it, right? Well, you're too late. It's a suicide mission, Connor. They're only sending in the bomb squad guys who've either got no family or full pension going to their wives when they bite the bullet. And ain't no one here wearing a badge who ain't made his phone call home yet to tell the little lady where the insurance policies are filed and the loose cash is hidden.

I know this is disappointing, but if you head south on the Patch Thruway you'll hit the Stratford Tunnel and that'll get you across the river with maybe having lost about 40 minutes drivetime. And if you're gonna hit rush hour, best to do it from the Stratford than from this here bridge that you came to to cross. Now get goin.

And for Christ's sake Connor, make sure you got some change for the toll!

Happy About That Bridge You Were Worried About, When You Come To It, RUN LIKE HELL IT'S GONNA BLOW!!! Day!