Thursday, November 21, 2002

Change Your Haircolor Day!

This way, people will say things to you like, "You changed your haircolor!" and "Your haircolor has changed!" and "The color of your hair, you changed it!" and you will feel like your life is moving forward with the same velocity as everyone else's.

Your friend Jacob just fell in love again not weeks after being thrown out of his home for cheating, and the one he's in love with isn't even the one he got caught cheating with. It's someone completely different.

Your hair now looks better with a red winter cap than with the green one you usually wear with your blue winter coat, so you will have to buy a red winter cap now. But with the blue coat and the red cap you don't want to look all 9/11 or anything.

The woman in the cubicle next to yours, who seemed as mired in the rapidly rising shit brown office carpet as you have been these seven years, just found out the crappy off-off broadway play she wrote to piss off her ex-boyfriend got backing to go off-broadway and Hollywood has expressed interest in a screen adaptation. Her last day is tomorrow, but she might not make it in if she takes the red-eye tonight to make a meeting on the coast tomorrow morning.

You've got some streaks of darker color due to your scattered gray hairs. You'll probably have to make an appointment to get that fixed. When you get around to it maybe.

You had been wondering why your next door neighbors had not extended their annual Thansgiving dinner invite to you yet. The husband, his hands on his three year old son's shoulders, explains that the Ryder truck outside is making the first trip out to the new house that he bought in a nearby affluent suburb, "What with the new baby on the way and all." He used to be your roommate.

Your hair used to be dirty blonde, but now it's dark brown.

Happy Change Your Haircolor Day!