Friday, February 04, 2005

Your Date Doctor Is A Quack Day

Your Date Doctor Is A Quack Day!

You misspoke when you said that your date's dress made her look thinner than usual, yes. Your instinct was to laugh at yourself and point out that you're very nervous and are therefore talking like a bit of an idiot. Your Date Doctor suggested a different approach.

"Give her a tickle torture!" he shouted.

So you leapt across the table and dug your wiggling fingertips into her sides. She begged you to stop in between bursts of frantic giggling. When you finally relented, she maced you and ran.

On another date chaperoned by the Date Doctor, you were glad to have him there because your date started choking on a big piece of steak and your Date Doctor administered the heimlich, which was cool. But then he told you to make her feel better by giving her thirty dollars. She maced you and ran.

Last week, you actually got lucky and your date invited you upstairs to fuck. Your Date Doctor insisted that he come along.

"You'll never be able to pull this off without me. You're nothing. You're worthless. I'm your only hope," was his argument. "You're disgusting and you smell bad," were two additional points to his argument.

You couldn't help but agree, so you asked your date if your Date Doctor could come up with you.

"Whatever it takes," she said. "I need it bad."

Upstairs, the sex was going pretty well for a first night. You stayed on top, occasionally holding your date's arms down on the pillows behind her head. About midway through, your Date Doctor pulled you up from the bed in a full-nelson and whispered in your ear, "Keep going."

You were still inside your date, being held aloft with your arms pinned up in the air by your Date Doctor's elbows. You looked down at your date, and she shrugged as if to say, "It's worth a shot.:

So you continued to thrust with your body bent backwards and held captive by your Date Doctor, who stood at the foot of the bed. Things escalated for another couple of minutes until you and your date shared one of the most powerful orgasms either of you could remember.

"Pretty sweet, right?" asked your Date Doctor.

"I have to admit, that ruled," your date said.

"That was almost as good an orgasm as the ones I used to have with my most recent ex-girlfriend," you said.

This upset your date, so your Date Doctor suggested that you write the words I'm sorry on her bedroom window with the semen you collected in your condom. She maced you and ran. But since you were in her place, she could only run into the bathroom. Once you regained your eyesight, you and your Date Doctor went out and got drunk.

Happy Your Date Doctor Is A Quack Day!