Monday, February 07, 2005

You Lost Your Virginity To The Tune Of Metallica's "Ride The Lightning" Day

You Lost Your Virginity To The Tune Of Metallica's "Ride The Lightning" Day!

Listen to yourself for God's sake. Talking about "perfect moments" and "a love so strong you just know." When you lost it there was a muddy puddle of beer seeping through the back of your winter coat, which, to complete that "right moment," was still on and half zipped. Joe Pownell took you on the grass of a raided kegger not three feet away from a barbed wire fence with "Ride The Lightning" blasting from Jeff Conway's (sitting fifteen feet away) boom box, and you're going to tell your daughter to be that long-rumoured "ONE" who'll manage to lose it when the moment is right? Buy her some birth control, tell her not to be stupid, and go upstairs to your Netflix.

Additionally, you never had sex again in high school, but you were a whore in college.

Happy You Lost Your Virginity To The Tune Of Metallica's "Ride The Lightning" Day!