Saturday, February 12, 2005

Your Dad's In Jail Day

Your Dad's In Jail Day!

Your Dad's in jail. He was fighting with your Mom and the neighbors called the police. Now everyone in the neighborhood is staring at you. The other kids ride their bikes in a circle around you chanting things like, "Your Dad's in jai-ail! He's never gonna come home agai-ain! You'll have to talk to him through plexiglass on Christ-maaas! He'll have to kill a guy on his first day in order to show everyone how hard heeee iiiis! Or else he'll have to make love to me-en! I bet he has a black ey-eye! He's probably being initiated into a gang unified by either race, ancestry, bigotry or religious belie-eeefs!"

Open up a lemonade stand to raise money for your Dad's bail. The kids on bikes might ride around past all day long taunting you. But all the adults who heard your dad screaming and cursing while he was being taken away last night will think it's really sweet that you're working hard to raise money for his bail, and they'll all come and buy lemonade from you just because you're being adorable.

When you get home with all the money you made, you'll run through the door shouting about it to your mom, but your dad will be there sitting on the couch cuddling with her. They'll thank you for going to all that effort, and then they'll explain to you what a bail-bondsman is.

Happy Your Dad's In Jail Day!