No More Enemas Day!
Your girlfriend broke up with you because she's sick of giving you enemas.
"At first I thought it was kind of a fun change to be with a guy who liked getting enemas so much," your girlfriend was quoted in an interview with USA Today. "But sometimes I just want to fuck straight and smooth, like there wasn't ever no other way to get it done."
But all you wanted was enemas.
In a conversation you were having with an unknown person in the room with you while you were on hold with Rebate Services LLC, a tele-services contractor that records phone calls for quality control purposes, you were quoted as saying, "Goodbye enemas I guess. Maybe I'll place a personal ad."
An online personal ad found on Nerve.com's personals browser included the phrase, "Enemas are sexy. Like seventeen enemas a day is sexier." Was that your ad? If not, it should have been because it is very clever.
Happy No More Enemas Day!