Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Monster Day

Monster Day!

Your girlfriend is convinced that there are monsters under her bed and she wants you to sleep over her house to make her feel safe. You want her to sleep soundly, but you're both only sixteen and you don't want to have sex until you at least are out of high school. Spending the night in her room might compromise that plan.

You ask your girlfriend, "We're still on the same page right?"

"About what?" she says.

"Not fucking."

She says, "I don't want to fuck. I just want you to sleep in my room. The monsters, you know."

You say, "I know and I want to be there to protect you. I'm just afraid of fucking you."

"You don't think you can sleep over without fucking me?" she says.

"No," you say. "Not just me. Us. I'm afraid if we're in your bedroom all night long in our pajamas like that, we're just going to lose control and fuck like crazy. And I wanna go to college."

She says, "Please. The monsters."

You hold her eyes with yours, seeking out some truth. "Okay," you say. "But if we all of a sudden fuck…"

"Yeah?" she says.

You break out in a smile, "Don't say I didn't warn ya' is all."

She smiles and the two of you hug. Later tonight, you're torn apart at the sternum by monsters.

Happy Monster Day!