Get Hit By A Car Day!
Today you're gonna get hit by a car and everyone is gonna come to your hospital room and be nice to you for a change. Additionally, Brad, who broke up with you because you weren't pretty enough, is going to come to your hospital bed and beg you to take him back. You'll refuse him and he'll kill himself.
Your brush with death will also open your brother Michael's eyes to the damage he's inflicting on himself with his drug abuse. He'll stop abusing drugs and he'll get rich. Also, your mom's cancer will go away because God will think it's too cruel for so much sadness to get crammed into one family. And God will also give your family a new car.
Finally, you'll be visited by President George W Bush. He'll ask you to hang in there and he'll promise to make laws that make the roads safer for beautiful girls like you.
Happy Get Hit By A Car Day!