Henry broke up with Mary because he wants to go out with Susan now.
“He said he loved me,” Mary tells you.
“Then he’s a liar,” you say. “And we need to get revenge on him.”
Mary suggests she take the private chats they had and post them on Facebook.
“It’s real mushy stuff,” she says. “And there’s a lot of him apologizing for not being able to last very long in bed. It’ll be super embarrassing for him.”
“I’ve got a better idea,” you say.
After killing Henry’s family, grinding up their bodies and feeding them to Henry in a stew, you’re wanted for murder and so you decide go on the lam.
“Come with?” you ask Mary, leaning in her bedroom window. “We can live on the open road, killing what needs killing, stealing when we need a little dough, sleeping under the stars, just being free.”
Mary says no. You say cool, then you try to reminisce about the prank you played on Henry, how awesome it was to see his face when he found out he ate his whole family, but you notice the flashing lights behind you.
Mary shows you her phone. She secretly dialed 911. They heard every word.
“You ratted on me?” you ask. “After I helped you get revenge?”
You go to jail for life, thinking the whole time that all you’re guilty of is helping out a friend with a broken heart.
Happy Vengeance For The Broken Hearted Day!