They respect your honesty. While others would go on and on about being a big fan who just wants something personal from their favorite golfer, you make clear that you don’t even like golf.
“I just like the way the cap makes your skull so perfectly ovoid. I like watching your sweat leak out from under the rim. And I like masturbating into the cap, mixing your sweat with my semen, and then rubbing the mixture on my torso, leaving it to dry while I watch television (not golf).”
Today you’re going to receive a gray Top Flite cap worn by Jenna Daniels. She’ll include a note that reads, “Get Messy! Jenna Daniels."
After you go to Wikipedia to remind yourself who Jenna Daniels is, you’ll finish the soup you were eating and then retire to your garage to sit in the backseat of your Datsun (it’s where it has to happen for you) and masturbate into her sweat-stained cap. It’ll be just okay, and when you’re done coating yourself you’ll toss her cap into the trash and spend your evening drying in front of a Sons Of Anarchy marathon you Netflixed.
Happy You’re Really Good At Getting Women Golfers To Mail You Their Golf Caps Day!
