Today you're going to have to give up your fun-loving bachelor's lifestyle when your sister tells you that her cellmate wants you to raise her son while she's in jail.
"But I go on two dates a night with hot babes!" you'll complain. "Now I have to raise a kid? This is such a turn of the tables! Such a turn of the tables!"
Your sister will explain that her cellmate, Gladys, has promised to set your sister on fire if you don't raise her son.
"So I guess you have no choice but to give up the party life and start being a dad to a boy in need of some tough love. You might learn something about yourself."
Tell her that you've already learned something about yourself. You've learned that you hate having an arsonist for a sister.
"You mean you hate having an arsonist who got caught for a sister. You didn't mind so much back when you needed someone to set fire to that 800 acre expanse of forest."
Ask her why Gladys wants you to raise her son and your sister will say that she guesses she might have mentioned that you were a great big brother to her, that underneath your hard-partying demeanor is a really nurturing soul.
That will bring a tear to your eye, and you'll agree to do it. When you meet Gladys's son, he'll knife you in the leg and you'll never walk without a limp again, but then the two of you will find common ground and he'll win a spelling bee or something.
Happy Your Sister's Cellmate Day!