Monday, December 23, 2002

The Wrong Bus Driver Day!

Ask the wrong bus driver whether you should run away from your parents to Hollywood to become a movie star, and he might say yes because, unbeknownst to you, he declared today "Opposite Day" for himself and he's saying and doing everything that is the opposite of what he means to say and do.

And even if he didn't declare today "Secret Opposite Day" and he's able to tell you that today is opposite day and that's why he said that, he might be the target of a murderous husband he's been cuckolding and just as he's about to tell you that he didn't really mean to say you should run away, he might open the doors at a stop and that vengeful husband might jump up the steps and stab him six times in the belly with a big kitchen knife and then hop back out and run.

And sure, he might have enough strength to lure you close to his mouth and whisper in your ear that today's Opposite Day and that no, he does not think you should run away from home. But then he'll have said both yes and no and then die and you'll be left to wonder which of his opinions to heed as truly the opposite of his real opinion because he's been a good bus driver and you don't want to deny him his final Opposite Day.

Another reason the wrong bus driver might tell you you should run away from home to become a star of the silver screen is because he always used to want to do that but never got the chance and now he'd like to see you go in his stead because bus drivers always want something better for their passengers.

Happy The Wrong Bus Driver Day!