Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Make Your Son Smoke A Whole Pack Of Cigarettes In One Sitting Day!

You just found a pack of cigarettes in your son’s bag and you know just how to get him to never smoke again. Sit him down and tell him that he has to smoke the entire pack in one sitting, while you watch him.

Your son agrees, and then the two of you spend the next several hours just sitting there across from each other in your living room. Eventually, you can’t help it but one of you starts making casual conversation because otherwise you’d both be bored to death. Maybe it’s because he’s so relaxed with all that nicotine flowing through his blood, but your son ends up really opening up to you. He tells you what he’s scared of, what he wants to do with his life, and the kind of man he hopes to be. For the first time you feel like your son is your peer, and you are so glad to be his dad.

When he finishes the pack, you half-heartedly tell him that you hope he learned his lesson. Then you spend the next several days not speaking to each other, like always. You begin to miss that talk you had and you wonder if you’ll ever get to experience your son in such an easy, unguarded state.

You need to get some nicotine into his blood fast, so what you do is you wait until he’s asleep and then you put a nicotine patch on his skin. Once an hour has passed and the nicotine is in his blood you kick his bed to wake him up. Then you ask what he was dreaming about and you two end up having the father-son talk of all father-son talks. You end up repeating this every night until your son is so addicted to nicotine he smokes six butts before school even starts.

Sound familiar? That’s probably because more kids get addicted to smoking because their dads want to have enlightening conversations with them than any other cause, including peer pressure. If you’re a kid and you don’t want to smoke, go sit down with your dad and have a chat. Otherwise, you’re practically guaranteeing that he’s going to poison your blood with nicotine while you sleep.

Happy Make Your Son Smoke A Whole Pack Of Cigarettes In One Sitting Day!