Your office just created an Disaster Recovery Notification Plan, which is basically nothing more than a phone chain so that if there’s a nuclear war, each person in the office will call the next person in the phone chain and tell them they have the day off.
In the first draft, you were supposed to call Kevin, who was supposed to call Rita. You have a big crush on Rita and you hate the thought of Kevin being possibly the last person to ever speak to her before she dies, so you bribed the admin to switch the names in the plan so that you get to call Rita (you gave the admin 30 dollars).
Today you’re not going to be able to resist the temptation of calling Rita. You just can’t decide whether you want to pretend that there’s been a disaster so that you can offer to come over her place and keep her safe from apocalyptic cannibal hordes, or to avoid her turning on the news and learning the truth, do you want to get your hands on a dirty bomb and detonate it someplace crowded? The dirty bomb would make your story believable when you call Rita, but you’d also risk being arrested for being a terrorist, which leads to waterboarding. But Rita is a smart girl. Would she really believe that there was an apocalypse just because you called her and told her so?
Love can sometimes land you into these kinds of difficult situations. The only way to get out is to be a man and attack your country.
Happy Disaster Recovery Notification Plan Day!