Monday, October 08, 2007

You’ve Got A Bone To Pick With The Electric Company Day!

You wrote to the electric company a couple months back telling them that you’re a drug addict with a baby in the house so you can’t pay your bills anymore but they can’t turn off the electricity because the baby needs to see her dolls. The electric company sent your letter to child services and they came and took your baby away, then the electric company turned off your electricity. Today you’re going to go down to the electric company and tell them to turn the electricity back on or else you’ll have another baby.

“You wouldn’t,” the electric company will say.

“I would,” you’ll reply just before throwing up on your chest.

The people behind the window at the electric company will huddle and try to figure out how to handle this. Finally, one will come back to the window and say, “Who you gonna have the baby with, huh?”

You’ll take out a picture of you and your ex-boyfriend who is deceased but they don’t have any way of knowing that.

“How do we know that guy isn’t deceased?” they’ll ask.

“Guess you’re just gonna have to gamble,” you’ll say.

The electric company will huddle some more, then they’ll come back and offer you two free months of power.

“After that, baby or no, you’re on your own,” they’ll say.

“Pssssh, if I live two months a whole lot people are gonna lose a good bet!”

You and the electric company will laugh then you’ll fall on the ground and go into a coma. Ironically, you won’t come out of the coma until your two months of free electric are up, so you’ll have missed the whole thing. Just goes to show that drugs are no bargain.

Happy You’ve Got A Bone To Pick With The Electric Company Day!