Monday, October 15, 2007

Your Old Drinking Buddy Is A Priest Now Day!

You’re really pissed off at him. You came back to town thinking you wanted to get back to the way things were, and you were pretty excited for you and Jerry to get down to business again the way you used to. And then he shows up to meet you and he’s wearing a frigging collar.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to me!” you say to Jerry.

“I had to do something!” Jerry explains. “I was going down the drain man! And the parties weren’t the same with you gone. They stopped being fun and just started getting weird, man. It was like every night I left the house I was afraid I was gonna end up killing somebody.”

“You couldn’t have gone into AA for a little while?”

Jerry shook his head. “AA’s the biggest party in this town man,” he says. “I needed something that would really knock my head against the wall you know. I needed someplace with muscle. So I hit the catholic church.”

You don’t say anything. You just sip your mug of beer.

“I can still drink you know,” Jerry says. “I can drink all day if I want.”

“Not the same,” you say. A prostitute comes out of the back bathroom and tells you you’re up. You climb off the stool and follow her. Jerry grabs your collar.

“Hey!” he barks gravely. “You better know that when you come back out, I’ll be here waiting. Always.”

“Thank you father,” you say with a sneer. Then you follow the prostitute into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you.

Happy Your Old Drinking Buddy Is A Priest Now Day!