You and your new bride both got real sick on your honeymoon cruise and you both took lots of Dramamine which fucked you both up and made you see stuff.
“What’d you see?” you’ll ask three years into your marriage.
“You first,” she’ll say.
Tell her, “I saw the world in your face. It was a world of peace and beauty.”
She’ll say, “I saw bugs everywhere.”
Admit to her, “Yeah me too. I was just trying to protect you.”
She’ll ask if you really think those bugs are real and you’ll say, “Don’t you?” Then the two of you will run to the shower and scrub at each other with metal brushes under scalding hot water.
“I wanted to do this to you the day we were married,” you’ll say. She’ll smile and you’ll kiss her bloody teeth. Then she’ll scream for you to keep scrubbing, and you’ll scream just to keep vigilant.
Happy Dramamine Day!