Friday, July 04, 2003

Where You're From Day!

Today, you were born on an intercontinetal flight, halfway across the Atlantic Ocean. Your mother was being deported back to Brussels after your father was secretly executed by the NSA. In the dimmer hallways of American National Security, it was understood that the death of your father meant life for the status quo of misinformation. But your mother made a stink as to his disappearance, and she made headlines. The issue of your father's little girl and her inevitable vengeance against her father's assassins was something no one wanted to chance. But murdering your mother before you were born was considered far too high profile a disappearance. The louder she screamed, the more her name appeared in the papers. If she went silent, there would certainly be an inquiry.

So they decided to make it harder on you by forging some documents to get your mother's citizenship called into question. You were not to be born on American soil. But your mother, a clever woman, bore down a thousand miles offshore, which is why your manifesto, issued from whatever bunker has been harboring you and published by an underground and now-defunct publisher, is titled "I Have No Country."

Tomorrow, you're from Dayton again.

Happy Where You're From Day!