Thursday, July 17, 2003

"Need To Get Out Of City ASAP. Please Help!" Day!

She can't be more than seventeen and she's covered in piercings. She's sitting with her back up against the wall of a bank, her face is in her knees and the sign is propped up against her boots. Just in front of the sign is a coffee cup containing maybe three dollars in change. Go to her.

"Are you in danger?"

No, she'll say.

"Do you have a funeral to get to?"

No, she'll say.

"A wedding?"

No, she'll say.

"The humidity getting to you?"

No, she'll say. Well, kind of, she'll say. But that's not it, she'll say.

"Then what is it? Why do you have to get out of the city so bad?"

Because I just can't take it anymore, she'll say. Please help me, she'll say.

Hold her. Tell her not to cry, that things are going to get better, and explain that you don't give money to panhandlers. You prefer to help the needy via legitimate charitable organizations. Then go to dinner.

Happy "Need To Get Out Of City ASAP. Please Help!" Day!