Wednesday, July 23, 2003

The Blind Can Love Day!

Blind man walks into a park with a tap tap tap of one of those long plastic things. Blind man smells angry pant of breath from big dog mixed with especially hearty dollop of feminine perfume applied by a blind woman (blind women do that with their perfume) and concludes that said blind woman in same park is about to be attacked by big dog. Blind man on the scent, ya'll.

Tap tap tap goes the blind man into the middle of a jungle jim. The wind is heavy for mid-summer and he got thrown off the scent. But with a vigilant whiff he's back on track and he heads to the Five Corners just off Dog Run where he's certain that not a few feet away from him are a big dog and a blind lady sporting an odor that could only be concocted in the house of Claibourne.

The blind man dives into the airspace where he is certain the big dog is about to take flight straight for the blind lady's neck. He hears a guy say, "the fuck?" just before he thumps to the concrete and immediately lunges into the air from his spot on the ground to bearhug the big dog mid-flight before it can open the poor blind lady's neck.

The blind man grabs only damp summer air and falls back down again.

Tap tap tap goes the blind woman to where she heard the plop of person to concrete and she asks, "Did someone fall?" Blind man shouts, "The dog! The dog!"

Blind man and blind woman hear man say, "He's leashed. Settle down."

After enough seconds pass for a blush to fill a cheek and then fade, the blind man starts to giggle from his spot on the ground and the blind woman joins him with that laugh that only blind people can share, a laugh that says, "Holy shit does does living in a world of pitch black darkness suck or what?"

The laughter subsides and the blind woman gives a tap tap tap of her long plastic thing to the blind man's tummy and she says, "Hey hero. Buy you a beer?"

The blind man and the blind woman have a beer together and they fall in love and stay together for fifty thousand years never for one single second not loving each other with every inch of their long plastic things, and then the blind man dies and the blind woman waits to die for a while, happy that she got to love the blind man for all that time.

Happy The Blind Can Love Day!