Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Sam And Diane Day!

Your 6-year-old daughter just watched the episode where Diane calls off the wedding and leaves the bar. Now she’s trashing her bedroom and threatening to set fire to the whole house.

“Sweetie,” you plead with her through her door. “Please, just calm down and think about it. They were polar opposites.”

“That’s why they fit so well!” she screams. “Each found what they were lacking in the other!”

You try to explain that things get complicated when you get older, but you can hear her smashing her Barbie Dream House to bits.

“All is lies!” she screams.

“Come on, honey,” you say. “He’s Sammy! Mayday Malone! He’s supposed to be out there playing the field, not sitting on the bench with a bookworm.”

She keeps smashing stuff. You’re getting worried.

“Me and daddy will always be together,” you say. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

Your daughter opens the door.

“Sam and Diane were together because it was dangerous. It was uncomfortable,” she says. “You and dad are together because it’s safe.”

You go downstairs and prepare dinner. When your husband sits down at the table and asks where your daughter is, you say she’s coming down with something so you put her to bed. You don’t want to tell him what she said. You wish she was at the table though. You wish you had someone to look at besides him.

Happy Sam And Diane Day!