Thursday, March 02, 2017

Ask Him If He's Scared Day!

You've had your eye on the guy who lives in the building across the street. You see him in line when you get your morning coffee and you see him down the platform when you're waiting for a train and you see him chatting with the bartender when you're getting a drink but you haven't come up with a way to start talking to him.

Just ask him if he's scared. All guys are.

He'll appreciate being asked since guys want to reveal that everything's scary but they don't like to bring it up with strangers because strangers are scary too. So you'll have to broach the subject.

Since he might get scared if you just walk up to him out of nowhere and start talking, ask him if he's scared by writing "SCARED?" on a brick and throwing it through his window.

He'll pick up the brick and it over to the blank side and write "YEAH THANKS FOR ASKING I REALLY AM GOD IT'S LIKE I JUST WISH I COULD HIDE UNDER MY BED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN" in really small letters, then he'll throw the brick back at you.

When the brick hits your head he'll have to choose whether to be a hero and run downstairs and carry you to the hospital or stay inside and let you bleed out because hospitals are scary. If he carries you to the hospital, he was lying about being scared and you shouldn't date him. Don't date a liar.

Happy Ask Him If He's Scared Day!