Saturday, January 07, 2017

You And This Guy Dan You Both Make Engines Day!

"There's someone I'd like you to meet," your friend Karen says. "His name's Dan. He makes engines too."

You ask her what kind of engines.

"Who cares."

Dan lives on the other side of the country so you ask for a couple vacation days, buy the $700 plane ticket, and fly out to meet this guy Dan.

"Karen says you make engines too," you say.

Dan nods.

"What kind you make?" you ask.

Dan spends a couple hours telling you what kind of engines he makes, then you spend the next couple hours talking about the kind of engines you make.

After a moment of silence when you're both sipping your beers and staring at the TVs, Dan says, "Guess we're friends now."

"Best friends I guess," you respond.

You fly back home, feeling excited to get back there, elated really, knowing that you have a best friend now.

"Thanks Karen," you say to Karen when you meet up with her. "Dan's a good guy."

Karen loses it on you and everyone else in the bar screaming about how no one ever bothers to fucking find her a new best friend even though she's fucking delightful everyone says so and she's always going out of her motherfucking way to help everybody else, "But does anyone ever goddamn think to return the fucking favor nooooooooooooooo oh noooooooooo not for good old Karen she can take care of herself well I fucking can't take care of myself you all hear me do you need to shake the fucking beer out of your ears I can't do this alone I need a goddamn best friend goddammit!"

Happy You And This Guy Dan You Both Make Engines Day!