He wandered into their backyard and started eating apples from their apple tree.
"What do you want us to do with him?" they ask.
You tell them to give him a bath.
"Okay we did," they say. "What do you want us to do to your dad next?"
You tell them to send him to a dance party.
"He had a good time," they say. "What do you want us to do to your dad next?"
You tell them to go to the beach and lock him in one of those lifeguard sheds where lifeguards go to have sex with other lifeguards.
"There were lifeguards having sex inside but once they were done we locked him inside," they say. "He's still there."
You become furious. You tell them you didn't tell them to leave him there. He gets scared of lifeguard sheds. You tell them to get him out.
"He chewed his way out," they say. "We found him squatting on a houseboat. He destroyed the inside with his bare hands."
You tell them to give him another bath.
"He's too powerful now," they say.
You order them to give your fucking dad another bath.
"He's too powerful now," they say. "He can't be stopped."
The water in your glass starts to shake. You hear the footsteps. Soot falls all around your kitchen as the roof is ripped from the walls.
Your father is very upset with you.
Happy Someone Found Your Dad Day!
