Saturday, January 11, 2014

Old Cop Young Cop Day!

They’re doing the Old Cop Young Cop routine to try and get you to talk.

Young Cop: Confess, Tough Guy! I know you did it, and I’m gonna put you away. I’ll be doing this city a favor.

Old Cop: Even if we do put him away, there are ten more like him waiting in line. I’ve seen it again and again. After every bad guy, there’s a worse guy.

Young Cop: Don’t listen to him, Tough Guy. If you go to jail it’ll make a difference. It’ll make this city a better place. Confess.

Old Cop: Confess if you want. Go free if you want. It won’t matter. This city gets worse every year. I remember when I thought I could do good, clean up the streets. But blood doesn’t wash off concrete so easily.

Young Cop: Dude, shut up! Look he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, Tough Guy. I got a wife and kid at home, and I want to make a better life for them by making sure you’re behind bars.

Old Cop: I could’ve had a wife and kid. I even got engaged once. But she knew I was married to the job. I thought if I didn’t marry her, I could at least do my part to make the city in which she lived a safer place.

Young Cop: See that! He chose the job because putting away scumbags like you is important. Confess!

Old Cop: She was murdered the following year. The killer was never found. If only I’d gone through with the wedding. I could have had one blissful year of love instead of impotently chasing scumbags.

Young Cop: You’re so not helping!

Old Cop: I’m too old to help. Too old to play good guys and bad guys and pretend it’s anything more than a game. No matter how hard I fought crime, they still killed her.

Young Cop: Maybe I can do better! Maybe I can make the city better for my wife and child. Maybe if I get Tough Guy to confess, I can make it so your lover’s death wasn’t for nothing.

Old Cop: It was for nothing.

Old Cop shoots himself.

Young Cop: Now do you see what you’re responsible for? Tough guys like you broke his spirit. His death is on your hands. Can you live with that?

You can’t. You know you can’t. You tell Young Cop the truth. You rigged your cable box to get Cinemax for free. You just wanted to see the hot new Amish country-set crime drama Banshee, may God have mercy on your soul.

Young Cop: Works every time!

Happy Old Cop Young Cop Day!