Monday, January 06, 2014

God In A Bong Day!

You bought a brand new bong, but you didn’t realize how special it was. When you rub it just the right way, God comes out.

“Holy crap,” you say, staring at the face of God. “How’d that happen.”

“It’s a glitch in the universe,” he says. “Bongs work in such a way that sometimes they suck me out of the heavens and onto your couch. Anyway, want to see some magic?”

“Of course!”

God claps his hands and sends the planet into a thousand years of darkness.

“Suck me back into the bong will ya’?” God says. “Take a big hit.”

You have trouble lighting the bong because fire doesn’t work anymore thanks to God’s trick.

“You mean I’m stuck down here? No way!”

God claps his hands and light and fire and warmth is returned to the world.

“Okay, light that shit and suck me out of this pit,” he says.

You take a big hit and suck God back into your bong and when you free the carb Got seeps out and soars back to heaven.

“Bye God!” you shout.

Your roommates come out of their rooms and ask you who they were talking to. You don’t say. You don’t tell them how close you all came to a world of empty darkness. You don’t want to bum anybody out.

Happy God In A Bong Day!