Thursday, December 12, 2013

Saying Goodbye To Moms Day!

The government announced its plan for all the moms to be put on a giant boat and all the dads to be housed in this big glassed-in part of the forest.

“It’ll be fun,” the government announced.

Today’s the day the moms get on the boat and you’re really sad to have to say goodbye to your mom.

“Was I a good mother to you?” your mom asks you.

You nod even though she was terrible. Just really emotionally damaging and neglectful. But you’re still really sad to see her go. She was your mom for Pete’s sake. And now she’s getting on a boat with a bunch of other moms and they’re going to tell her how they raised their kids and she’s finally going to realize what a terrible mom she was to you.

“I wish the government wasn’t making you go away,” you say to her.

“Rules are rules,” your mom says.

You and your mom cry together, holding each other tight. You’re surprised by how sad you are. Maybe this is why the government did this. To remind everyone how important moms are.

“I love you, Mom,” you say for the first time ever.

“I love you too,” she says back, surprised to hear the words come out of her mouth.

Then you watch her get on the boat and go away until the law can be overturned in Congress. That night you go home and write the government a thank you letter.

“If it wasn’t for your law requiring that she be shipped out to see, I never would have heard my mom say I love you. So, thanks,” you write.

The government never writes you back. Busy, I guess.

Happy Saying Goodbye To Moms Day!