The loneliest CEO cries in his Lincoln Town Car because he has no one waiting at home to hug him and listen to his stories when he walks through the door.
“You okay boss?” the loneliest CEO’s chauffeur asks through the window separating the front seat from the back.
“Do you know rough men?” the loneliest CEO asks. “Tough men who can kill me for a price?”
The chauffeur makes some calls then tells the loneliest CEO, “75 grand. Do you want it to be a surprise how they’ll do it?”
The loneliest CEO says no so the chauffeur says, “They’ll shoot you. Probably in the head but maybe someplace else.”
The loneliest CEO says, “Okay, but I want it to happen on the front porch of the girl I took to my high school prom. She lives in Ohio now. Married with three kids. I want you to drive me to her house tonight and have your rough friends meet me there. I’ll get on the porch and ring the bell, and when she comes to the door, tell them to shoot me so that I fall forward and die in her arms. Is all that understood?”
The chauffeur says you bet. They drive to Ohio to the woman’s house and when he rings the bell the woman’s kids answer the door. The killers don’t see who answers so they just go ahead and shoot the loneliest CEO and he ends up dying on top of his former prom date’s children.
Happy The Loneliest CEO Day!