Monday, March 07, 2011

Let’s Pretend Mom And Dad Never Met Day!

Today you and your brother are going to pretend that your parents never met.

“That way we would never have been brothers and we would never have fallen for the same girl,” you’ll say.

“I fell for her first,” your brother will say. “12 years ago. I married her 8 years ago.”

“And then I fell for her three months ago,” you’ll say. “Yes, I know the dates. But if our parents never met, you and I would probably have never met either. We wouldn’t even have been in the same social circles. So we never would have come in contact with, and fallen for, the same girl. Right?”

Your brother will point out that if your parents had never met, neither of you would even exist.

“And we never would have fallen for the same girl!” you’ll say. “Then we definitely wouldn’t have! Right?”

Your brother will ask, “Do you love her?”

Don’t answer. Say, “I’d happily not ever have existed if it means that you and I wouldn’t be fighting over some girl. I’d prefer to be wiped from the universe’s memory than fight with you over what’s in our hearts.”

Your brother will ask, “Does she love you?”

Say, “Let’s just pretend. For the day. Let’s just pretend Mom and Dad never met.”

“Did she say she’s going to leave me for you?” your brother will ask.

Say yes.

Happy Let’s Pretend Mom And Dad Never Met Day!