Friday, October 23, 2009

You And Your Husband Want To Marry Other People Day!

You've been married for a month already and frankly, the fact that you don't have any weddings planned is making the future look less than awesome.

"Let's marry other people," your husband will say.

"That's classic!" you'll reply.

You and your husband will go out to the bars and woo prospective second spouses until you each find that extra-special second someone who won't ask too many questions. You'll drink enough to get engaged then you'll each meet your second fiance's parents and start planning the big day.

"Isn't this fun?" you'll whisper when you call your husband in the middle of the night.

"We should just keep getting married to people for the rest of our lives," he'll whisper back. "Oops, I think Cheryl's waking up! Make sure you get your ceremony videotaped. I wanna see it."

After you both get married to other people you'll break the news that you only did it for the wedding, and once everyone stops yelling at you and breaking your faces, you and your husband will reunite and tell each other all about your respective weddings.

"We had shrimp," your husband will say.

"We had a caviar station," you'll say.

Then you'll tell your husband that he needs to get a better job because you spent a good hunk of your savings on your wedding.

"My parents weren't going to pay for another one," you'll explain.

"That's fine. On your weddings days, everything should be perfect," your husband will say. Then you'll hug him and the two of you will go to the bedroom and do to each other all the stuff you each learned on your wedding nights with that bride and groom who are presently crying their eyes out someplace. You two should introduce them, maybe they'd hit it off.

Happy You And Your Husband Want To Marry Other People Day!