You wake up in Joe’s bed on your wedding day, the day you’ll begin the rest of your life with Henry.
Don’t roll out of bed shouting regrets at the clothes on the floor.
Don’t double over in tears.
Don’t shake Joe awake and tell him it was a mistake insisting you love Henry and you just got scared and you did something to put it all in jeopardy because that’s how a young girl sets things in motion.
Stay still, your breath steady, testing the weather under the covers. A heat created by the humming machinery under your and Joe’s skin. He runs hotter than Henry.
Joe opens his eyes and tells you he’s a despicable Best Man. Tell him you’re a despicable bride.
In calm even tones, both of you repeat the following:
I [Your cheating/lying/best friend or husband-to-be betraying name]
Promise to never ever hurt Henry like this again.
I will devote my life to making Henry’s life more comfortable and entertaining
As penance for this dishonest act.
I will never tell Henry about this morning, about last night.
I will do what I can to understand the feelings that made me want to harm this person I love dearly.
I will do what I can to be a good wife/a better friend.
Pinky swear, then sneak out of Joe’s room and down to yours using the fire stairs. It’s time to get ready for the best day of your life.
Happy Vows Day!