When Jeff sees you out on the ledge he won’t be scared. He knows you can fly.
“No,” his coworker Arnold will say. “She can stop time, but she can’t fly.”
“You’re both wrong,” Keith from legal will say. “She has the ability to control crowds with the pitch and tremble of her voice.”
“For God’s sake,” the guy from the mail room (forgot his name) will say. “She’s able hypnotize people with her eyes. What’s wrong with you fucking idiots? Get it straight.”
“You’re all wrong,” Evan Holcomb III, the CEO of the company will say. They didn’t see him walk up behind them.
“Mr. Holcomb,” they’ll all say. He’s never spoken to any of them before.
Staring up at you, Mr. Holcomb will continue talking as if he forgot his employees were there. Or, at least, as if he forgot they were his employees. He’ll marvel at you, a deep sadness in his eyes, and he’ll say, “She can hold her breath for a really long time.”
His employees will manage to keep from laughing at him until he wanders away. Then they’ll go back to looking at you, waiting to see how you get yourself out of this one. They’ve all been arguing over which powers you possess every since your first day of work, when you wore the blue dress. They don’t know what made you decide to step out on that ledge while they were all at lunch, but they know whatever it is, you can get out of it.
You — and your eyebrows, and the way your voice gets deep when you argue, and your fingernails, and your sweetness — are their hero. Get down off that ledge safely and you’ll prove them right for having believed in you.
Happy Every Boy Needs A Hero Day!