Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Say Goodbye To The Guy You Ran Some Errands For Day!

While on the run from the police who want to arrest you for Public Sadness you’ll spy a townhouse with the front door wide open so you slip inside hoping to have a place to hide for a while. In the vestibule you’ll realize you’ve been there before. It’s Murray’s house. Murray’s an angry old rich man and fifteen years ago you used to run errands for him.

“Come to gloat?” Murray will be sitting in a wheelchair before you at the end of the long hall, two suitcases flanking him on the floor.

“I’ve come to say goodbye,” you’ll say.

Walk to Murray and kneel by his chair.

“I was reaching for my wife’s photo on the nightstand and I fell out of bed,” Murray will say. “That was enough to have my home health aide tell em I need full-time staff care. Off to the damn home.”

“Time to go Murray,” the home health aide will say from behind you.

You need to stay in that house until the police pass, so start stalling.

“Murray, there’s something I never told you.”

Murray will say spit it out. Shoot a look at the home health aide to get Murray to tell him to wait outside. When he’s gone, say, “I came to you when I was just 23. You were very important to me at that time, like a father I never had. My whole adult life, I’ve tried to live it with yours as my example.”

Murray’s eyes will well up with tears. “I wasn’t sure if I got through to you, kid. I need to tell you something too.”

Say, “What is it Murray?”

Murray will say, “Lean in closer. I want to tell you about something I want to give to you. When I’m not around anymore.”

You’ll do as he says. He’ll cough a few times, wipe his mouth slowly, then he’ll take a few deep breaths, trying to summon enough air in his lungs to speak. When he finally does, he’ll say, “Sorry kid.”

Two policemen will have you in their grip and facedown on the floor before you realize what’s happened. They came in the open front door right after you and snuck up while you were waiting for Murray’s declaration.

“Nice job stalling, sir,” one of the cops will say.

“Just glad I could help clean up this neighborhood a little bit before I say goodbye to it,” Murray will say.

Look up at Murray and say, “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry about a lot of things I guess.”

“Then you really did follow my example, kid.”

One of the cops will say, “Maybe next time you won’t be so sad in public, we won’t have to put you away.”

You’ll be taken before the judge and sentenced to twenty-five years in prison.

Happy Say Goodbye To The Guy You Ran Some Errands For Day!