A man will hold out his hand and ask, "Do you wanna come with me?"
No blood on his hand, some scars, fingernails thick as a car windshield, and a wedding ring so old the gold's gone bad.
"Do you wanna come with me?"
If you take his hand he'll lead you to the passenger seat of his Caprice Classic, and he'll drive you across town to a small, two-story home.
Inside he'll sit you down in a chair that looks like it's only purpose is to make the elderly sit up straight while they die. He'll give you a glass of tonic water and he'll turn on the TV. A rerun of "Medium."
"Is this it?" you'll ask.
He'll nod, belch airily.
"I was kind of hoping for an adventure," you'll say.
He'll laugh once. Then he'll get lost in the show.
In the show, a person will have died, but no one will know why. Then the medium will use psychic powers and it's over.
"Time to turn in," he'll say. He won't get up. He's going to sleep exactly where he's sitting on that couch.
"Is there anyone else who lives here who might involve me in dangerous capers? Or maybe a love affair that will be my end?"
He'll shake his head slowly from left to right while watching the evening news on mute.
"Why did you ask me to come with you?"
"I asked you if you wanted to come with me, and you did. Apparently where you were sucked so bad you didn't care where I was going."
You'll try to remember how you felt about where you were, and whether it was so much worse than the chair in which you're sitting. You won't be sure, so you'll keep comparing, looking back every chance you get. You'll stay in the chair, looking back and doing your best to decide which was the better life. You'll die sitting up straight.
Happy Do You Wanna Come With Me Day!