Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dads Are Sitting In Their Cars Listening To The Radios Day!

Every night after dinner they go outside to the streets, get in their cars, turn on the radios, and sit and listen until the Moms send their youngest daughters out to knock on the car windows and ask the Dads to come inside.

"It's probably connected to the recession or something," says an out-of-work expert named Laraine. "They probably lost their jobs, moved their families to smaller houses with no driveways, and they feel like they don't deserve to share their homes with these people they've let down, so they go listen to their radios in their cars."

People who walk past the Dads say they don't see them cry. They don't see them rock out. They don't see them do much of anything really. They just listen to the radio and breathe and think about stuff, it looks like.

"I'm telling you, recession!" insists Laraine, a person who used to make money acting like she knew everything, but now gives it out for free. "The Dads are probably thinking about how just eighteen months ago they could have gone out to their cars and taken their own lives by turning on the motors and shutting their garage doors, but now they can't because they had to move into houses without garages. Too broke to die. Get it?"

The daughters who go out to knock on their Dad's car windows are the real victims in all this. In order for them to convince their Dads to come in, they have to go out there in their pajamas, with their arms wrapped around plush toys. As we head into Autumn, the nights are going to get a lot chillier and those pajama-clad daughters are going to start catching colds.

Happy Dads Are Sitting In Their Cars Listening To The Radios Day!