You're all outta love and you're only 46.
"I blew my love on a whole lotta people who didn't deserve it," you say at the dinner table, eyeing your two sons with scorn. Your two sons both give you the finger in response.
"Are you sure you didn't leave some of your love in your other pants," your wife says pointedly. She knows about the affair with the lady who sells you your pears.
"I should have been more miserly," you say, ignoring your wife. "What kind of man am I going to be now?"
Everyone sits and waits for you to do something that a man who's all outta love might do. Nothing happens. They get hungry and start eating again.
"Pass the salt," your son says.
"Nope," you say.
Everyone drops their forks to their plates and gasps. You realize what you've become and you drop your face into your hands and shriek.
Happy You're All Outta Love Day!
PS: Preorder YOU ARE A MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A HERO, the new book by Bob Powers. Out May 27th!