Friday, March 13, 2015

Break A Promise To Your Stepson Day!

“Hey Jim,” he’ll say.

“I told you, Morris” tell him. “Call me Dad.”

Morris will remind you that you’re not his dad. And you shouldn’t want to be his dad because his dad is a fucking piece of shit drunk asshole who deserves to die.

“You said you’d kill him,” Morris will remind you. “I told you you could marry my mom if you killed my dad.”

“Yeah well, maybe I’m rethinking that deal,” tell Morris.

Morris will grip his wiffle ball bat like it’s a weapon.

“I gave you my blessing,” he’ll say. “You promised.”

Shrug. “Your dad’s bigger than me,” tell him.

Morris will wander off to regroup and figure out how to make his father pay, and once that’s done, make you understand that a broken promise to a stepchild yields grave, grave repercussions.

Happy Break A Promise To Your Stepson Day!