Monday, February 25, 2008

Go and Save A Boy From Himself Day!

There’s an alcoholic in your life, yes? That one lost cause who never had anything to offer anyone, and could only take and take and take from anyone who ever had the misfortune to have a good heart within his vicinity? The one boy who forced you to choose between him and your dying dad and then just after you chose him your dad died and he took off in the middle of the night with your Mitsubishi Mirage (crashed it into some policemen who were walking by the side of the road looking for clues to crimes).

As it turns out, that boy is running out of time.

He needs someone to come and save him from himself. All he knows how to do is send himself further and further down the spiral, like he made a vow that he won’t take another breath unless there’s a damn good chance that it will be his last. He presently sleeps in a bathtub in an abandoned building holding a plugged in toaster on his chest, the knobs on the faucets spun open wide, hoping that someone in that building will pay a water bill and finally send something besides skinny bugs out of that spout and he’ll be electrocuted in his sleep. The boy is his own nemesis and he needs a hero. Though he is the undeniable reason why you have achieved nothing that you once dreamed you'd achieve, it would be so awesome if you dropped everything and flew across the country to save him from himself. Cool?

The plane ticket is expensive, but the entirety of your savings ought to cover it. Cool?

Happy Go and Save A Boy From Himself Day!