You and your boyfriend are playing Who Dies First, the fun game where lovers tell each other which of them they wish would die first.
You tell your boyfriend you wish you would die first because you could never wish for your boyfriend to die. You’d gladly go before him given the chance.
“I wish you would die first too,” your boyfriend says. You run from the room and don’t talk to him for days.
When you finally speak to him again you demand that he take it back.
“Nope,” he says. “I want you to die first.”
You go silent for a couple more days. When you confront him again, you’re certain he’ll change his tune.
“I’m playing by the rules of the game, which is to say who we want to die first, and we have to be honest. I want you to die first.”
You ask him why.
“I want to die knowing I shared as much of your life as I could,” he says. “I want to die knowing that there won’t be an unknowable future for you without me, a future that I could have enjoyed had I not walked in front of a bus or whatever kills me. I want to die knowing that the only thing I’ve lived for, that being you, is no longer around to live for any longer. That will be a peaceful death, knowing that there’s no point in staying alive any longer because you’re gone and the world is awful. I want to make sure you’re dead, then I’ll kill myself one minute after you.”
Tell him you get it now. Tell him he won the game.
Happy Who Dies First Day!
