Monday, May 24, 2010

Be A Rich Person Who Dates The Poor Day!

Everyone likes it when rich people give to the less fortunate, so you should dump your similarly wealthy spouse and go to a poor-person's restaurant like McDonalds or Chipotle and hit on one of cashiers.

"You have a languorous beauty," say to the cashier, with relative certainty that it's a compliment.

The cashier will respond, "Normally I refrain from making eye contact with someone of such substantial means, but I can't help myself with you."

"Come out with me tonight," say to the cashier. "I will take you places where they keep lobsters in a fish tank and allow you to pick any one you want."

The cashier will be uncertain. "I come from proud people. We may not have a lot, but we don't take what we haven't earned."

Say to the cashier, "Oh I'll make you earn it. For every dollar I spend on you, you have to give a year of your life."

The cashier will estimate what a dinner with you might cost and then do the math. "Why, your asking me to give of myself to you until the end of time!"

Take your cashier's hand and promise to be true. The cashier will cry, and everyone else behind the counter will cheer as they do whenever someone wealthy comes along and steals away a staff-member. They'll take the cashier into the back of the kitchen to be scrubbed clean in one of the extra-large sinks, and then your cashier will be delivered to you, sparkling and fresh with scent of highly concentrated dish cleaner. Now all you have to do is take your cashier to a society dinner and finally give your mother the heart-attack she's been threatening to have for the last two damned decades.

Happy Be A Rich Person Who Dates The Poor Day!

Also this: How To Break Up With Boys