Thursday, March 06, 2003

Honest Young Men Wear Khaki Pants And Untucked Dress Shirts Day!

Men who tell lies wear eyeliner and ties. Men who cheat on wives have tassles on their shoes. Men who keep mum when they've tendered a ten and received change for a twenty have contact lenses but chose to wear glasses. Men who orchestrate complicated confidence schemes in which nothing is as it seems aren't wearing any underwear. That beggar on the train who claimed to be a veteran of the Viet Nam war is only twenty seven and he was wearing an orange jumpsuit. Argyle socks adorn the ankles of the boy who steals cars to pay his way through law school (Irony just hit snooze on her alarm clock) and is under the mistaken impression that he can walk away from his criminal past any ol' time he feels like it. And any man who looks you in the eye and says he's never thought about what it would feel like to one day look you in the eye is wearing his dead brother's galoshes.

Thank you, gentlemen. And when you go out tonight, please remember to dress accordingly.

Happy Honest Young Men Wear Khaki Pants And Untucked Dress Shirts Day!